Tim Minchin - The Song For Phil Daoust

 

This is a song for phil daoust:
Occasional guardian newspaper journal-oust.
I never ever ever mentioned your name,
Or the review that you wrote, when i was new to this game.

But now the time has come,
I think i've dealt with my feelings at last.
I really wanna forgive ya phil,
Yeah i wanna put the past in the past-a

Oh and as this is london town, i thought i outta take the opportunity.
'cause there's a pretty good chance somebody out there will know you,
Maybe he will pass on a message for me.

Just wanna say, phil daoust, occasional guardian newspaper journal-oust,
That it's been three years since you wrote it, and time is very healing.
But i still wanna cut big chunks of flesh out of your stupid face and make your children watch while i force you to eat them.
Yeah i wanna make your children watch you eat your own face-meat.

Ding dang ding dang dong,
This is my phil doust song,
Everybody sing along,
La la la la la la la,
I hope one of your family' members dies.

Phil, ding dang dong.
I've written you this special song,
To help you get the attention -
You obviously, desperately lack.

And i know that you're a smart man,
And with such a fine mind, i guess it has to be hard-
To resist throwing narcissistic, intellectual tantrums in the supermarket isles of your self-regard.

Just wanna say, phil daoust, i know it must be really hard to be a journal-oust.
While a deadlines always looming, and the pressure to be entertaining.
So maybe you should quit and get a job that you'd be better at - like killing yourself, you fucking cunt.

Ding dang ding dang dong,
This is my phil doust song,
Everybody sing along,
Tra la la la la la la,
I hope something you love catches on fire.
Phil, ding dang dong.
I've written you this special song,
To show how far i've come along -
In my efforts to be more mature in the face of negative feedback.

You fucking poo-face.