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Hey everybody welcome out tonight
hope you're having a good time out there
Don't forget the waitresses and a coming up next
we got Sheena on the main stage
Athena on the disco
And don't forget we got
:(chorus) Take it off baby
: Those recliner dancers in the back
: Stick around and get those dollar bills out guys and tip tip tip
Take it off baby
Take it off baby

Well here's how this whole mess got started
Had a stripper at a bachelor party
I knew when she jumped out of that cake
We were meant to be
The next date we both flew off to Vegas
I must have been an ignoramus
I honestly believed that she
Loved me just for me

Oh...wasn't six months it came to an end
I walked out of the courtroom crying
She left with a grin

Cause she got half
And I said "OW!"
I mean dang
That comes to nearly fifty thou
Per date
My butt had never been so chafed
Cause she got half

I wondered if I'd remain lonely
Or would I find my one and only
Then the answer to my prayers
Appeared on my TV
(Call me now)
The cutest little tarot card reader
I knew that I just had to meet her
Then she said it was in the cards
For her to marry me

Oh...wasn't three months later I was in court again
No way she could have predicted
The way it would end

Cause I got half
And she said "OW!"
Two dollars a minute
So everyone call right now
Your
Future awaits
And I will be the next Bill Gates
Cause I get half

Sometimes you're better off as friends
Cause if it ever ends
Then they get half
And you'll say "OW"
So I'm not looking to get married right now
I've
Got a date
With a beautiful Playboy Playmate
Who won't get half

No she won't get half

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