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- Santa Claus is selling crack

 

He's the spirit of christmas
Crack and Claus go hand in hand

When christmas comes around, you will be surprised
For Santa's selling crack to children each and every size
No longer does he care if you are naughty or your nice
Jut purchase some of Santa's blend of heroin and ice

The elves are working hard this year, but toys are not their trade
Busy making sheets of acid, vials of crack cocaine
Rudolph the white-nosed coke fiend, Santa's trusty sleigh
His new careers expanding, and he's laughing all the way

Now, Mrs. Claus doesn't approve of jolly old st. nick
Roaming streets of Oakland pushing drugs to kids
But times have changed, dolls and trains outgrown
What the children want now days is some real snow

Santa doesn't care, he's a real man
Some children of the world just can't comprehend
He used to come only once a year
Now that fat slob is always here

He's outside Toys "R" Us, he's inside Taco Bell
His crafty red suit doesn't warn us that it's drugs he sells
If you've got a list, you can sit on his lap
Rub his dirty bears and smoke some crack

Frosty the blow man supplier
Santa's secret outside provider
Deliver his potent sugarplum ocean divider

If your dreaming of a "white" Christmas, Santa's got the goods
Rather buy your hubba from a hero or a hood
More silent than a church mouse's fart, he's in your living room
Dare not give him milk and cookies, daddy's credit card will do...

A twenty dollar bill, hid in your pocket with care
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there
Six months in jail and you still haven't learned
That Santa Claus is a no-life bum who's really not concerned

To get ahead in life you gotta have a plan
Santa Claus has a cause, does no one understand?
He sells his blow to tots and in return he plots
The future of our holiday season

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